Lonely Wallet

Say No To Broke!

Avoid Being Boxed – Decategorize Yourself

 

Mini Person made of Cardboard

In our beginnings, our minds were feeble and we looked to our parents for everything. We copied them to understand the correct behavior to gain their approval. This helped our young selves to get what we wanted so we adjusted our behavior as so. This mindset is necessary as a child as it helped us understand basic communication and social structures. The problem is, this mindset tends to carry well into our adult years. Instead of being a necessary component, this way of thinking becomes detrimental. We conform to others’ expectations of us as if their way is the absolute “correct” way to behave in our day to day lives. If we give into being categorized, we’ve been placed inside a box. This box limits you, your behavior, and your personality.

Boxes

You are a fluid human being. Every single day you change physically, mentally, and emotionally. How can a fluid creature be placed inside of a box? A box is the exact opposite of fluid, it’s rigid, not allowing any space to grow or to change. Everybody has their own unique set of ideas, values, and personality traits. It is impossible to place everyone into one “socially acceptable” category.

You should avoid being categorized by people. Being categorized makes you predictable and easily managed by others. Keep people on their toes and maintain what is unique about you. To do this, resist giving into social pressure. People want to see you in one way, their way. Succumbing to this pressure leads to losing the original parts of your character that make you, you.

Speaking of you, retain yourself. Identify what makes you unique and amplify these traits in your life. Instead of gaining possible minimal social acceptance for giving into social pressure, you’d gain respect for constantly remaining unique.

I hope this post helps you understand the dangers of being boxed and helps you avoid being boxed in your life. Make sure to sign up for email alerts so every new post comes straight to your inbox. Have a good rest of your day.

Experience Trumps Knowledge

Library - full of books

I recently finished my driving classes where the instructors taught us a lot about almost every aspect of driving: driving on city streets, country roads, and in all types of weather, etc. etc. The teachers do a good job making sure the students understand the laws and clearing up any confusion that may come with driving.Finally, I got behind the wheel, but I had very limited experience as I do not drive that much. I quickly found out that I’m a horrible driver. All of my turns were too wide and I always brake either too early or too late. What went wrong? It’s obvious to those that drive that I need the proper experience behind the wheel. But, when it comes to other aspects of life, we tend to get sucked up in collecting all the knowledge of “how” to do something instead of going out and actually “doing” something.

Knowledge is Useless Without…

Many people go from book to book, website to website trying to learn how to improve themselves in a certain area of their lives. They have high hopes of achieving what they so desperately want to improve but eventually get hit with dissatisfaction. They accumulate all this knowledge, all of this information on how to solve a problem, but the problem remains. Days to months to years without any real improvement. How does one get moving?

Do something! I discussed it before here, where I encourage you to stop dreaming and start doing. The same applies here when you have all this information collecting dust in your brain. The information isn’t of any value unless it is put to use. The key to tapping your reservoir of information is to act on it. Get your feet wet in your area of improvement. If you want to improve your speech skills, speak. If you want to lose weight, use your information on properly losing weight and hit the gym. It seems completely obvious but we can get lost in being idle. For example (I love examples because they provide a clear insight into applying them into your own situations), Paul, from the post about enduring boring work, has a “burning” passion with learning the piano. He watches video after video concerning the piano but takes very little time to actually play the piano. All that the information does is just fuel the passion but doesn’t ever improve anything. His skill is left on hold while he piles on more information.

Some of us are like Paul. We spend an excessive amount of time trying to figure out how to improve ourselves when we never try to implement the knowledge we already have. All of your time is then in vain. Make your time valuable by doing at least one thing every single day that puts you closer to improving yourself. Check out the other links to help you on your goal but remember to actually put in the work. See ya.

How to Endure Boring Work

A man reaching for his phone

For the sake of the post, let’s imagine a man named Paul. Paul here constantly has burning passions to start an endeavor whether it be a new skill, craft, sport, etc. This time he wants to start learning the piano. He watches dozens of videos of guys covering popular, complicated songs with, it seems, little effort. This only fuels his motivation even more. Paul immediately goes out to buy a keyboard and sits down and begins trying to learn a song. After 15-20 minutes of hitting wrong notes repeating mundane finger positions, he gets annoyed and turns on the TV. “I’ll continue practicing tomorrow”, he says. The next day his “passion” begins to fade and he practices even less, causing more frustration. He finally moves on from his “dreams” of playing the piano until he gets another “burning passion” to do something else.

Some of us are like Paul. We are filled with extreme motivation to begin something but we never get even close to finishing it. As soon as we’re hit with something that’ll take time to overcome, we get bored of the repetitive, mundane work that is necessary to do to improve. We then push the endeavor under the rug.

Boredom

Living in a modern society, we are introduced to a phenomenon called free time. As people, we try to fill this time as much as much as possible to avoid being bored. We look towards sources of entertainment away from work or anything challenging requiring effort, to pass the time. After a while, we grow increasingly impatient when doing tasks. We wish for something with a faster pace and is instantly enjoyable. Our work or endeavors then take less of a priority in our lives. We never do master or finish what we wanted to do as a result.

How to Endure Boredom

Before you even set down to work or to learn to master a skill, pick one that actually gets you excited. Right off the bat, if what you’re doing doesn’t even get you motivated just thinking about it, you’ll have an extremely hard time just starting. Like that old quote, pick something that’ll excite you so your work provides you with pleasure. Going back to Paul, he picked something that excited him, learning the piano.

At some point, you’ll hit a stage when your endeavor feels like work. This occurs with everything worth mastering. There are two steps to counter this and help you endure the work to continue improving.

First, you have to focus on your long-term goal. Remind yourself why you’re doing this and that this work is required to get to the level you want to be. Remember your long-term goal and it’ll provide you with motivation to endure.

Secondly, enjoy your improvement. When pushing through your obstacles, you’ll start to see yourself becoming better and better at what you do. You’ll understand your craft more deeply and you’ll actually be impressed with yourself. The only thing you want to do now is continue. Paul was missing these steps. He forgot about the long-term goal and didn’t even last long enough to see his improvement.

Man playing keyboard

As you endure more work you begin to craft your own impeccable work ethic to be used when enduring any task. It is important to keep sharpening our ability to endure as we do not want to give into distractions to wander us away from our goals. We want to push towards our long-term goals which would give us more satisfaction than any immediate pleasure. You’ll be glad you’ve stuck it out and will find ways to go even further.

 

Love Criticism. Don’t Hate It.

Blurry Glasses

At the end of my junior year in high school, I got into fashion and was determined to improve my appearance. How you look can affect your mood and esteem and is an excellent part of yourself to work on. Some months earlier, I saw some maroon Sperry boat shoes on sale out of town and quickly snatched them up. I finally found something to wear with them and I went to school with my first actual good outfit. I received a crazy number of compliments and actually felt great with what I was wearing.

Another day I wore another outfit that looked good on me, except I wore some hideous glasses. I didn’t mind the glasses as I didn’t really pay much attention to them. I went to school to get feedback and people constantly told me that my glasses didn’t look right. I initially took this personally and was determined to wear them anyway out of spite… until I looked in the mirror. One of the very few times I actually looked in the mirror, I saw what people were talking about. I couldn’t help but laugh seeing how goofy I looked with the glasses. Remembering this from junior year, I understand the importance of a mirror. A physical mirror shows you what you look like as everyone else sees you. As important as a physical mirror is, we need a mirror for our work and what we create for our audiences.

Create the Mirror

Reflection in a Cup

Our thoughts towards what we create tend to be far from how they really are. We may think we have produced the best product in the world but what we think of our own product is biased. That is why we need a mirror. A mirror to show our work for what it really is away from our thoughts and ego. This mirror is our audience’s criticisms, both positive and negative.

We have two options when people criticize us. We can either seclude ourselves in a corner, ignoring it and continuously holding on to our ego or create a mirror and actually use the criticism to correct and improve our work. I think we all know the latter is the proactive option. To improve your work you need to get feedback from your peers or audience. They are the ones that see your work as it is. Gaining their feedback creates a mirror showing you the shortcomings and strengths of your product as it is. If you pay attention to their criticism, you will start to see the differences in how you feel about your product vs. how it actually is. From here, implement the feedback and improve the weak spots and continue on what is working well.

This works for many endeavors, not just a product. Use it for improving yourself as I do with clothing and my appearance. Build your mirror of feedback from your audience and peers to see your work in reality, outside your mind. I hope this post shines a new light on criticism. It is a powerful tool for your arsenal. Love it. Don’t shy away from it.

*Note – Avoid feedback from close friends as they may also be biased and may give inaccurate feedback. Use judgment!

**Another Note – Gauge your feedback. Make sure it is accurate by getting criticism from a variety of your audience.

 

Needs vs. Wants (and How to Separate Them)

Sign with the word "water"

Back in fifth grade, I went to an overnight camp with my school. On the last day there, everyone gathered together for our last group activity. For the activity, our groups had to find signs that had a certain “need” written on them that people needed to survive; water, food, shelter, etc. These few signs were scattered all around the whole forest camp grounds. The catch was, there were also many, many signs with “wants” written on them. These hundreds and hundreds of wants served as a huge distraction from finding our needs to finish the activity. As trivial this camp game was, the activity showed many parallels to our lives. We have only a few basic needs: water, food, shelter, space, and air. That’s literally all we need. But, in our modern world, these vital needs are blended and mixed with our wants.

Needs and Wants

 Need:  a physiological or psychological requirement for the well-being of an organism

– good ole Merriam Webster

A bare bones definition describes a need exactly. They are our absolute basic requirements for survival in our environment. Without one of our human needs, we will die. Think of any survival island movie. After all the panic and hoopla, the leader steps up and sets the priority to obtain and maintain the crucial basics such as shelter and food. You don’t see anybody complaining that their wild boar is lacking a little seasoning (if you do, you know exactly who won’t make it back lol). In our relatively cozy environment, our needs and wants aren’t so cut and try. Most of us see the internet as a need which we all know is a want. But, we feel most of our time will suck without it. And that’s what separates a need from a want. The lack of a need results in death. The lack of a want results in being uncomfortable. Our wants make us more comfortable in our environments. It’s fine to have “wants” but it’s a problem when we cannot decipher the difference between something that may be enjoyable or make us feel better and something that will keep us alive.

fat man yelling

Products are thrown at us left and right to suck us into buying wants that are portrayed as absolute needs. We see this everywhere, on billboards, TV, and other people’s dire “need” to recommend you something. To separate these needs and wants, think of what you want to accomplish in your life. Say you are trying to save money and cut some expenses. Briefly detach yourself from your feelings over various products and services that you pay for such as cable, Netflix, specific items on your grocery list, those $190 Jordan Motorsport 4s. Without detaching yourself first before looking over expenses present and future, we automatically turn the wants into absolute needs. Even typing this, I put the Jordans towards the “need” category in my head. While emotionally detached, think about what you do not even use or forget about. That could be that streaming subscription or something on your grocery list you keep buying. Useless things can be the easiest to get rid of if they do not have a value to you. If you would like to continue in cutting your expenses, keep going through this process until you have reached your desired goal.

Conclusion

The widespread “neediness” of our society is easily pushed onto us. We become easily persuaded to buy things that we are told are necessary for our lives, even things we do not even want. Remember to momentarily detach yourself from the product and evaluate how it is a part of your life. Understand that our wants are not required for us to live but simply make our lives more “comfortable”. I hope this post helped you see needs and wants in a new, refreshed light. I’ll see you in the next post.

Why You Should Have Multiple Branches of Income

Forest

I’ve discussed very briefly before on how it’s dangerous to just rely on one source of income here. I refer to that post frequently in this one so be sure to read that first. If you’re not subscribed to our email list yet, be sure to subscribe just to the right of this page to get all our new posts immediately in one place. Now, let’s dive into why you should have more than one branch of income.

You are not putting all your chips in one place.

Life is changing and unpredictable. We cannot control the circumstances that are thrown at us but we can be prudent and do something about them before they arrive. DO NOT RELY ON JUST ONE WAY TO GET YOUR MONEY. When we do, we only have security in that one source. In the post I mentioned above, I give the example of someone losing their job, an unfortunate circumstance that happens to millions of people.  It’s necessary to have multiple sources of income now than ever as people begin to become comfortable and settled in their jobs.

Also, when you bank on one source, it prevents you from being adaptive. You’re settled in one place and cannot easily flow from different different markets and situations. I talk about this more in the next point.

Raises your overall experience

Building different branches of income automatically forces you to learn different markets. Learning and gaining experience in various markets provides you with more reach and flexibility in your financial life, especially if you apply this experience and knowledge to your own business. Along with this comes numerous connections across different platforms. These networking opportunities have endless potential that can assist you in the right times. With acquiring multiple paths for income, you become a more well-balanced individual.

Guy reading a book

Unpredictability

Finally, my favorite reason/benefit, being unpredictable.

Unpredictability: inability to be predicted; changeability.

– Google or something

When your unpredictable, only you know your next move. Not your enemies or even your allies. With many haters in this world someone is bound to want to stop your success. Keep them on their toes not knowing what you’ll do next by having access to your money in different forms. You will be ever-more harder to sabotage and more secure than when you just had your single job.

I hope you got something out of this post. Make sure you’re subscribed to our free email-list to be certain you will never miss a post from me. Make it a good day.

*I will not just leave you saying one form of income = terrible without giving you options to help you. Check out our “How to make money online category” here.

 

Keep Your Goals To Yourself

People talking at a restaurant

Remember a time that a friend of yours excitedly telling you their goals and plans for their life. This could be their goals to lose weight, save money, literally anything. They would speak about it every time they had. You would have to remind your friend that they told you about it seven times already. But, two week later, you see them and ask them about their progress. “Oh uh, I moved on from that”, they’d say or “I’m working on it”, a year later. Your friends had good intentions on fulfilling their goals, what happened? They told you. You would think that telling others your goals, especially to a trustworthy friend, would be beneficial. It would get it off your chest and maybe your friend would help you accomplish them, right? Thing is, it does the exact opposite.

Why shouldn’t you tell people your goals?

When something is important to us, we tend to talk about it, a lot. The problem with that is, talking about your goals takes you even further from accomplishing them. Talking about your goals gives us a sense of accomplishment as if we already fulfilled them and that is never the case. When we continuously talk about our goals and how we’re going to reach them, they begin turning into dreams. And if you read the “Why Dream When You Can Do” post, you know exactly what I’m talking about. You keep talking about your goals rather than taking action and putting in the work to get where you want to be. Read the above post to find out how to accomplish that.

The other reason to not tell others your goals is more obvious. People will try to change your goals or how you feel about them through their opinions. They’ll express their disbelief in your ability to accomplish your goals. This type of negativity is detrimental and should be avoided. Your friends may even do this unknowingly. It is best to keep your goals to yourself until you can say you have completed them.

I feel like telling the whole world though!

Arms out to the world

Simple, write your goals down. When you get your objectives on paper, it takes some of the stress away from feeling the need to tell others and it reminds you on what you are reaching for. Resist the temptation to tell people, it’ll only decrease your chances on carrying out your plans, even with good intentions. Make sure to read the above post to help you complete the goals you set for yourself. Keep up with your goals and I’ll see you in the next post.

4 Reasons to Develop a Personal Skill

Piano Player

Learning a personal skill can provide you with many benefits. No matter who you are, they can possibly come in handy for you, especially if you work towards them to mastery. Instead of me spoiling all of the benefits right here, here you go, my 5 reasons to begin developing a skill.

1. They Provide An Outlet To Express Yourself

Many people find trouble in expressing themselves through words and conversation. We all have emotions but sometimes we stumble in our ways of expressing them. Learning a personal skill can be that outlet in finding a comfortable method of expressing your emotions.

2. Good Use Of Your Time

When you engage in a skill meaningful to you, your time is used in a more productive way. We could all lay around for dozens of hours bingeing on Netflix or to develop something that you actually care about and don’t mind spending your time with.

Soccer Skills

3. Improves Mood

Doing things you enjoy make you feel better. Period. Soccer players that love their sport feel good when playing it. This goes for anything you love to do. You can bet that a musician feels good after a concert. Or an author after a writing session. Doing what you love and is meaningful to you, improves your mood.

4. Builds Discipline

Taking up a skill and mastering it is no easy task. It takes discipline to take something and learn everything about it and practice it in your time to improve yourself. Improving your skill takes time and patience. If you want to master it, it’ll take you some discipline and you will grow some too on the way.

5. Perfect For Introverts

If you already are an introvert, there is a high chance you already have a developed personal skill. As introverts, we recharge our energy outside social situations. When we have free time on our hands, we are most likely working on our skills. In my free time, I’ve picked up the keyboard and re-picked up writing. They are both relaxing and very enjoyable hobbies to partake in.

Your skill can be anything. It could be picking up a new instrument, trying out a different sport, or even brushing up on your art abilities. Try something new. If you want to begin, make sure you start today. With anything, we humans like to procrastinate, putting off even the most beneficial tasks. I hope you enjoyed this post and gained some understanding of the benefits of skills. Till next time.

Be Independent: A Guide to Self-Reliance

Man on the Mountain

Last night I watched the movie Lion starring Dev Patel. In the beginning, a small poor family lived in a very impoverished area in India. The mother had a very laborsome job of carrying rocks. Her pay was not sufficient to keep her children well fed so the older and younger brothers, Guddu and Saroo (about 12 and 5 in age) take it upon themselves to steal coal off of moving trains and sell the coal to survive. It was not easy and it was a dangerous job among the two siblings. Also, Guddu took night shifts at a train stop to make some more money. He was not dependent on his mother’s income but went to fend for himself to keep his belly full along with his family. That got me thinking about this post.

What is self-reliance?

: Reliance on one’s own capabilities, judgment, or resources; independence.

Self-reliance, independence, autonomy… whatever you want to call it, involves you relying on your own devices as an individual. Very few people are self-reliant these days. We often have very needy, extra-dependent people in our lives that seem like they cannot do anything for themselves. Remember every single one of us began like that as an infant. Completely helpless and naive, our parents took care of us in every aspect of our lives to keep us safe. As that is perfectly normal and appreciated as a child, that same behavior is detrimental as an adult. Being completely dependent on others’ as an adult means a lack of freedom in your life. If you fully rely on other people, you lack the ability to do anything on your own terms. This guide is to help you regain that freedom.

Understand the Lack of Control

To become self-reliant, you have to understand that you are not in control when relying on others.  You are on their terms. A small example that I’ll use later is constantly catching rides with people. When relying on someone getting you to and fro, you are completely on their time. You are ready when they are ready. For everybody that has caught a ride with a friend, you know EXACTLY what I mean. You leave when they want to leave and you cannot have them waiting while you get dress. Also, you are not in control of how many stops they’ll take until you get to where you want to be. Even with a small situation like this, I’m sure it can make you incredibly anxious and frustrated to keep having to depend on somebody else and not have the control you should have.

Car with text painted - "Fuck Off"

Hold Yourself Accountable

After you understand the lack of control you have when constantly depending on others, begin holding yourself accountable. When you make an obligation your responsibility to fulfill, you find a way to get it done. When you give your responsibility to attend a meeting to your friend, it places the obligation on them. It is not their responsibility to be at that meeting at a specific time, it is yours. When you keep yourself accountable you find other ways to get your tasks done. I understand that everyone does not have a car but there are alternatives. One alternative is collecting free rides on Uber* (see note below) by referring people and begin using those. At least with an Uber, you can set a time to be picked up for when you want to be picked up and it’d be your responsibility to be ready on time. There is also no extra, unexpected stops. This is a great first step until you get your own set of wheels.

Being self-reliant gives you power. You can do what you want on your own terms. You don’t have to wait for anyone else to get your business taken care of. Remember the anxiety and frustration you feel when you are not in control whilst relying on others. Hold yourself accountable. Own the responsibility you have and take the step to getting it done. You’ll feel better that you regained the freedom of relying on yourself.

* If it is your first time using Uber, you can use my code for a free ride to up to $15 – 7t688vggue. I cannot just tell you to be self-reliant and not give you a way to be self-reliant.

Why The Worst Situations are Actually the Best

We look at our misfortunes the wrong way. We see our setbacks in life as complete losses. In this age, we look upon them with a depressed eye as yet another indefinite obstacle in our lives just waiting to ruin us. Nope nope nope. Our problem is that we exaggerate the problems or bad times that hit us and see them as misfortunes. Misfortunes that only bring us down. We then get lost in our own self-defeat and fear. Fuck that. It doesn’t have to be that way.

Change Your Mindset

We cannot control the bad times or misfortunes hit us, but we can control how we view them. I challenge you to change your mindset. Tough times keep our minds sharp. Without them, our minds decay and become soft and weak. We get used to no immediate conflict putting us in danger so when trials swarm in, we are easily overwhelmed and look for other negative methods to ease our pain. When trials come, take a step back. Analyze the conflict/trouble of what it actually is. Take yourself out of the dream and the cloudiness that the lack of trials has placed over your eyes.

Once you detach yourself from your emotions and look at the problem in its real form (if it actually is a problem), begin finding value in this situation. It is easy to just give in to just waiting until the problem “goes away”. Take advantage. Stuck working at your boring job? Learn the business, all the ins and outs of your line of work. Understand how corporate works and how people are treated in all ranks of the business. This information is incredibly important for starting your own business you actually care about. I’ve found value in this exact situation by realizing that I do not want this. I do not want to give away the power to people to bark orders at me, especially those who I am more qualified then. I need something  of my own to maintain my freedom. I could not have had this realization if I did analyze my job situation and agree to get something out of it.

Start “turning shit into sugar”. Instead of complaining or drowning in self-pity. Let’s make use of our misfortunes. Understand we can’t control our situation but we can utilize the event to forward our own goals. Enough from me, go and “turn shit to sugar”.

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